Thoughts From A Train 10.29.21. Part III Meltdown Magic
It’s just too perfect of a train ride to not write down a few thoughts. I am traveling from Copenhagen to Odense on a sunny day and I have my own four seat compartment area-with a desk- to relax in while the Danish farms and Autumn colors whirl smoothly by my window. The coffee cart rolls up and suddenly I am sitting with my favorite beverage. Life is good, and just yesterday I was pretty sure that life was a miserable, useless slog.
When depression rolls in, for whatever reason- and the reason is usually based in self-centered fear or self-pity combined with poor diet and not enough exercise, I tend to salute it and say “oh hello there my old friend the Black Dog, what do you want to do about misery today?” At the point of acknowledgment I have a few choices. I can try and distract myself with screen time or food, or I can try and call somebody and ask them how they are doing and mean it. This second route usually helps me, and believe me I have chosen the first route many more times than the second. Actually saying my petty bullshit problems out loud-if they are not serious medical situations-helps me realize how good I have it at the present moment. I have to ask myself how I am doing at this very second? Am I dying right now? If the answer is no, then I figure I have it pretty good. Someday the answer will be yes and until that day I plan on enjoying myself the best I can by getting out of depression with a few simple steps. Or…I can let it linger for hours, days, weeks. I can lure it into being the creative foundation for any number of dark things. When it comes to garden variety depression or the rhythms of life, some say you do not have a choice. I say, unless you are in the depths of alcohol or drug addiction, you do have a choice in regards to how long you wish to linger in depression.
Hardly anybody ever writes down when they are feeling terrible and sad and stuck in fear. It just sits there and builds up into resentment and the next thing you know you are judging people or insulting people and/or things you barely have any understanding of. It is incredible how quick we can be to point fingers at something and judge it when we truly have no idea of what it would be like to be in the other person’s shoes.
The train is slowing down to pull into the station. I will attempt to wrap up my thoughts by saying this: you have a choice. If you choose to not help others, then you have made a choice to be stuck in self-pity. I do it all the time, and then I snap out of it and make the phone call or walk the streets until a situation presents itself. There will always be people who need help. They are out there, waiting for you to call them or find them right now.
Quick steps: 1) Acknowledge, accept, surrender 2) Snap into the present 3) Call a friend and ask them what is up with their life, not talking about your own until you are asked.
Hans Christian Andersen was from Odense. I will visit his house today on my afternoon walk. Who knows who I may run into that might need some help? Or, I may just look a shopkeeper in the eye and ask them how they are doing, and mean it.
After Thoughts from the streets: Some days are diamonds. Some days are slogs through train stations hauling heavy gear and vinyl and getting lost and getting on the wrong trains and some days are just diamonds. Today was a diamond and I got to walk the streets of Odense quite a bit and enjoy good food and coffee and even check out the soft opening of the new Hans Christian Andersen museum.